Discrimination and Heart Break

Dear Readers, We are writing to let everyone know about our frustration and disappointment with our recent experience in trying to adopt a dog from Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue Shelter (www.petrescuealliance.org (703) 338-3015) and how they discriminated against us. Shawn is in the Army and Elisabeth is a stay at home mom. We have three children. Sonora is turning 10, Carson is 7 and Evret is turning 4. Sonora was born with spina bifida and since then has been diagnosed with epilepsy and Asperger’s Syndrome, which, simply put, is a mild form of autism. All three of our children grew up with Leelee, our beagle, who passed away last spring from cancer, and Gus our Springer who passed soon after. For those of you who are not familiar with rescue organizations, in our recent experience, they all run basically the same. Find a dog you like, fill out the application, phone interview, home visit and if chosen, you get to adopt the dog. So, for weeks we searched the thousands of dogs available for adoption. I had chosen this approach (vs. going to a breeder or a pet store) to finding a companion for the family to teach my children that there are many unwanted dogs that need a good home. We were interested in a few dogs we were able to meet at Pet Valu, a local pet store that works in conjunction with Pet Rescue Alliance, located in the Springfield Plaza. We met Tex and fell in love with him. We filled out an application and had a home visit the next day. Uma, the representative for PRA, came to the house for about 10 minutes, asked some questions and said she would contact us that night. Nothing about the home visit made us feel that something was not acceptable. After not hearing anything for three days, I finally sent a message requesting information. Uma informed me she had been busy and that she had reservations about my children. I informed her they knew how to treat animals, i.e. do not pull tails or jump on dogs. Her next comment is where it started to go wrong. Uma was mainly concerned about my daughter. She felt Sonora was unhappy that she, Uma, came into our home. I explained to her that Sonora has several disabilities; one being Asperger’s. I explained that when she wants something, in this instance, her tablet, she continues to ask until she gets it. She was not aggressive, nor was she mean to Uma. All she did was continually ask me for her tablet and sound frustrated. Uma seemed to understand my explanation and said we could go ahead with the adoption. The children were so excited. Friday, adoption day, the kids went to school, and I shopped spending over $350 on dog supplies making sure we had all the necessary items to include the exact food Tex was already eating. When we picked up the kids they asked if we had Tex yet and told them we get to pick him up right now! On the way there Carson said, “This is the most exciting day of my life. I am just so excited!” I informed the kids they needed to be calm and so I hear from the back of the car after we parked from Carson, “be calm be calm”. We got to the store early so the kids started picking out toys and when Tex came in to the store they flocked to him and began to pet him. He was a very happy puppy who licked the kids and made them giggle. Sonora was actually the one who never left his side with me. She was in love. We were walking around the store and Sonora asked to hold his leash. I informed Uma, knowing she already had reservations about Sonora, that I would never let her hold the leash on her own; that she just wanted to help, and like children with Asperger’s do, Sonora continually asked to hold part of the leash. At no point were Sonora or the boys mean or inappropriate with Tex. Likewise, Tex was an angel with the kids. Uma then asked to talk to me down an aisle. I assumed we were going to go over the paper work. My husband, Sonora and Carson started to pick out a harness for Tex with assistance from the store clerks. Evret and I went with Uma who told me she was not feeling comfortable with us and that the adoption paper work stated “children could not hold the leash”. I informed her again that I would never let Sonora hold the leash on her own. Uma decided after 5 minutes in a cramped pet store that because my child with Asperger’s asked to hold the leash that we were not fit to adopt Tex. I told her that she just broke my children’s heart, started bawling, turned and then grabbed my family and walked out. I had to tell my three children who had been more excited then when Santa comes that Uma wouldn’t let us have Tex. We all cried to the car, Carson kept saying, “we were so close.” Sonora was so upset and kept saying, “we can’t leave Tex”. She didn’t understand why we were leaving Tex. Carson even offered to give up his gift from Santa saying he would ask for a puppy for the family instead. Sonora later told my friend, "Its wrong to leave a dog alone. We left him alone and he's lonely". There was no way to explain to my children with out causing more hurt feelings about what had just happened. We are sick to our stomachs over the discrimination against our child. Uma’s only concerns were about Sonora. She was uncomfortable with our special needs child. If Uma had reservations we could have had a play date at the park with Tex to see how they all interacted. You DO NOT tell three children they get to have a dog and then decide at the last minute that they cannot have him because Sonora asked to hold the leash! If she did not understand children with special needs, she should have asked. We would have let her spend time with her, our child with Asperger’s who hugs everyone and who slept on the floor in front of Lee Lee’s crate the first night after we adopted her. My children’s hearts were broken and a puppy didn’t get a loving home with a family who wanted him. We are sharing our family’s story with you in the hopes that volunteers and employees of other rescue shelters will take the time to educate themselves and their organizations about children with special needs. Additionally, we ask that donors to rescue shelters inquire about shelter policies and training regarding children and adults with special needs; and refrain from donating to organizations – like the Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue SheIter – that blatantly discriminate against families with special needs children. Finally, we would recommend that parents of special needs children inquire upfront about an organization’s understanding of special needs children prior to proceeding with the adoption process. In the end, maybe we weren’t the right family for Tex; but we do know for certain that Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue Shelter is not the pet adoption agency for families with special needs children. Sincerely, Elisabeth and Shawn Kadlec

Its Croup and a clarification

Well, so much for not wanting to have any sick talk. Ended up taking Evret to the Doctor last time after I heard the seal barks and watching him try and breath, sure enough he has Croup. First time in this family. Two neb treatments last night and a shot of steroids. Now we just have to keep him away from Grandma so she doesn't get sick:( Hoping for a quick recovery.

On a different note, I have had some questions about a previous post so I would like to clarify it. I am so used to using certain terminology, and forget that civilians do not always use the same words. Here was part of my post: "I am on a mission today to start figuring out how we can stay in MN longer when Shawn redeploys. Wish me luck!" Redeploys=comes home, so hopefully we can find an active duty slot for Shawn when he comes home so we can ALL stay in MN instead of moving to a different state.

Hoping for a more fun filled next post!!

Tis the season for running noses

Well, it is officially runny nose season. Time to stock up on kleenex and vapor rub. Carson and Evret are both congested, but enough sick talk.

The most fun part of the week so far has been Evret and his new Spider Man blanket from our cousin. He loves to cuddle up to it and when you spread it out he giggles at Spidey. He definitely has himself a favorite blanket. I am hoping bedtime is smoother now.

Funny saying lately:
Sonora's conversation with grandpa, "Grandpa, how are we going to breathe under water?" "Well, we can't breathe under water." "We'll have to be like a fish then."

And the fun continues with barking from Evret, guess we'll be seeing the Dr. tomorrow. I know I said no more sick talk, but I'm a mom, thats what we do:)

A Weekend Away

Here we are, Monday again. Why is it always so hard Monday morning after being gone for the weekend. I am pretty sure I do not do anything different to prepare for Monday when I am home. It was a typical Monday morning here, running out the door to get to school to find that the van doors are frozen shut and obviously I didn't start the van to warm it up. Not to mention missing hats and a little boy with a sore throat. I learned my lessen to not plant the idea of staying home again. I think he could have made it today but he was not giving in to the fact that I told him if he was still sick he could stay home.

The positives of the weekend:fun birthday party for Sonora and Evret at Space Aliens, the kids were able to play with their cousins, and I got to go out to dinner WITH OUT kids. All in all not a bad weekend away.

Every day I am just so pleased at things my children say or do. Evret was saying a couple new words, "Blaze and Got Ya". Sonora wanted a flashlight from the counter (I bought two) and I told her "no, it is mommy's". She replied back in a somewhat sassy tone, "but there is two of them." Now I know for most 8 yr old children that sentence would have been normal, but for Sonora that is a huge step in analytical thinking and verbal expression. It is so exciting to know that the wheels are turning and that she isn't just flitting through the days like she had been with all her seizures.

Can't wait to find out how school went for Sonora today after 4 days off, normally it is horrible because she doesn't want to go back. I am on a mission today to start figuring out how we can stay in MN longer when Shawn redeploys. Wish me luck!

My rant of the day

I have worked many of jobs in my life and in all of them I would like to think I was nice to the people whom I served no matter what the situation. Is customer service a thing of the past? Maybe poor customer service and rude people is seen mostly on military bases. If you haven't heard about this, you should. I believe many people working on military bases just do not care how they treat a person because it is next to impossible to be fired. I have often wondered too if the frame of mind is that these services are free for us military people so really what do we have to complain about. What ever the case, I am tired of it.
Poor Evret is not feeling the best and all I wanted to do was to finally get him in to the doctor. So I call the appointment line and am told, well sorry we are having a shortage of providers so there are no appointments. I think to myself...a shortage, hmmmm, how about we hire more providers or better yet then let our children see pediatricians off post if you can not handle the load. Ok fine, what is my next option, well we will direct you to the nurse line. Nurse line answers, I give them my husband's info to look up Evret on their computer and are then told, well he isn't signed in here. Me, "what do you mean" . So it appears that Evret's tricare info did not go through when Shawn signed us all in but everyone else's has. Well what do I do then? I have to call Tricare or go see them. I ended leaving a quick irate message with Tricare and after not hearing back I call again later. So the second time around some one answers and of course it is somehow my husbands fault. But wait the lady says, let me look what is going on first. Ahhh I see, first blame the soldier then check the computer. Thanks. So after a few minutes and her making some phone calls she tells me the problem is fixed call again to pediatrics. Finally, I think this is all going to be ok but NO peds is saying Evret is still not with them. Ok I said, I just talked to Tricare on post, to which they reply you can't do that over the phone. Yes I can and I did, thank you. Where in this whole situation, I wanted to say did you not forget my baby feels like shit and sitting in an office is probably not what he would like to do. Then I get the well if she (the Tricare lady) is going to start doing this stuff over the phone then she better tell us. Anyway, after severals minutes we have a referral to go off post and that is what matters right? Not the fact that really they could have given a crap that I have a sick baby? Or that maybe, just maybe a little saying such as "I'm Sorry how can we help?" was a better place to start. As I said, perhaps there is just no customer service in the military. How dare I try and fix the problem myself and on the phone. How dare I not take the blame because you know it just couldn't be their mistake. So, now I am waiting for Sonora to get home so we can go to the urgent care place and wait, pray that it goes fast. It is hard enough being in the military I don't think that being treated like crap is really necessary.

Let's try this again

Family, Friends and Followers (FFFs)
Another day here and gone. Sonora and I were at the doctors today. She had an EEG and then saw the neurologist. Still having too many seizures, so we had to up one of her meds. After a couple of weeks if she is having less seizures then great, if not it'll be time to try a new medicine. So, that is the news for Sonora.
More fun though is our little walker. Evret was walking SO much today. He took about 20 steps in a row. One of these days he will just stop crawling all together. Where did my baby go? In less then a month he will be a year old.
Carson is doing well in school, he let's us know he did the same thing as last time in school. He is too funny. Love them all.

Starting anew

Dear Friends, Family, and Followers,
It has been quite a while since I blogged last. I am starting to blog again for the ease of letting people know what is going on with our lives, especially Sonora. So much has happened since the last time I wrote that I am going to give a "quick" recap. We moved from Kansas to North Carolina in June. Well, technically we went to Minnesota for a month first and then came to NC in July. We had a great time seeing family and fishing however, as the trend goes, by the end of our vacation Sonora was not feeling very good and was having some pretty bad days. We arrived at Fort Bragg and about one week later found the local ER and UNC hospital quite quickly as Sonora's shunt decided to stop working again. Sonora had surgery on her shunt and while in the hospital I started pushing for them to start helping us with her seizures. Ten days later we ended back at UNC in the hospital where Sonora had a video EEG machine hooked up to record her seizure activity for almost a week. The results were not good. Sonora was having a multitude of seizures both day and night. There were even times that she was having seizure activity but nothing about her seemed to change, ie no eye rolling or staring etc. So, a new drug regimen was started. By the end of her stay the doctors thoughts were and I quote, "she's a puzzle". As you can imagine Sonora's was still having much more seizures then they wanted to see on the EEG but it was time to get home and let the medicines work. If anyone has been in the hospital for a week you know the feeling of needing to be at home! The hospital is uncomfortable, boring and just plain depressing at times.
For the next couple of weeks the seizures really seemed to be disappearing. Sonora was not having many staring spells and just seemed more alert then she had been in a long time. Then one day she started getting a rash. Sonora was on a medicine that if a rash began, the medicine would have to STOP. Of course, that is what happened, so good bye to lamictal and hello to zonisamide. Now ever since changing, I have noticed more seizures again. Also, school started.
School, what can I say about thee. This year we put Sonora in a self contained classroom (there's about 8 kids with different special needs to 1 teacher and 3 aids) instead of a normal 1st grade class. Last year she just seemed to be overwhelmed by the amount of children and the pace. However, Sonora is going to "specials" with one of the 1st grade classes this year. I would love to be able to say so far so good, but that is just not the case. It seems Sonora is a little defiant and refusing to do some of her work. Per the teacher she gets up around 1 o'clock everyday to get her backpack to go home because she is done for the day. She still has no real desire for learning and I am just not sure if she really understands WHY she needs to. She would love to just stay at home and be the queen in her dress and crown and be able to watch her movies, play her games or put together her puzzles all day. Any suggestions would be great. I have reverted back to putting sight words and other information she needs to learn on paper that is pinned to the hallway walls.
Anyway, Sonora's neurology appointment is tomorrow so we will have to wait until then to find out what is next. As for the other 2, well Carson loves preschool. He goes for about 2 1/2 hrs in the mornings every day. He is the social butterfly who would rather be there all day! Evret is walking everywhere. He is a climber and is into EVERYTHING. His two favorites are the dog water and the cupboard with the kids cups and bowls. He is definitely giving us a run for our money.
Please feel free to post any questions, comments or suggestions. Thanks for lending an ear;)

And it continues

And it continues. Sonora had a great night last night and was fine this morning. She had one partial seizure at school that lasted only 30 seconds but of course that is enough to cause her to be tired. After drama and a nap she was feeling better until she came home. Poor Sonora was sick to her stomach and threw up. So now I have to decide is she sick from all the activity in her head, or that she hasn't eaten much today, or is it from bumping up the medicine so fast, or even is it a little stomach bug? Of course I decide to call the Dr, whom I think is probably thinking I over react, who doesn't think it was the medicine but to go ahead and cut back. So she is still having seizures on what she was on and maybe we need to start over, yet again.... I am so frustrated, and wish we could just go back to where we were.


So, this seems to happen to me often; I get complacent when there are not a lot of appointments on the calendar. As a result, I tend to forget to check to make sure everything is all set. I cancelled tomorrow's appointment for Sonora because she wasn't doing well. I cancelled the dentist the other day to go pick her up from school instead. I just realized that her spina bifida apt is during Spring Break which is great if we were going to be here! UGHH!! Working on getting referrals for her appointments and am just frustrated that I even have to bother. Really, Sonora is always going to need a certain set of Doctors and wouldn't it just be easier if we could make an appointment anytime with any of those specialists with out first getting permission from her PCM?

Oh, just another typical day. Oh and to top matters off my refill that was supposed to be ready on Monday wasn't ready and actually didn't seem to be processed at all. Really, can one thing go right this month???!!!

I'm back

I am back. I stopped writing only after a few posts but I find that I need an outlet and am hoping to find it in writing. I am a mom. I am a mom of three wonderful children ages 6,4 and 4 12 months. MY six year old daughter, Sonora, has Spina Bifida and really is a daily challenge lately. Today she had a seizure at school. She is fine, she came out of it on her own, but still a scary situation none the less. The school was great they took precautions and called 911. She didn't need to go to the ER but still another bump in the road. We are or were I should say changing her medications and had been weaning her of a couple. Apparently those medicines were helping more than we thought. So her new medicine was upped and will be upped again in 3 days. There is nothing more scary then getting the call from school saying they have called 911 for your child. I grabbed the baby told my 4 yr old to put on shoes, grabbed him a jacket and out the door we went.

This is just one event in the what is seeming to be a very bad year at school for Sonora. Last year at preschool Sonora loved going to school. She completed all her work and never gave the teachers a hard time. This year, she is like a whole new person not wanting to do any work, and refusing to do everything. Eventually she complies for part of the time. She nows has a full time para educator with her during the day to keep her on task otherwise she would wander around the class room in her own world. What happened? Has anyone else had this happen to their children? She was not being treated correctly for her epilepsy I often wonder if that is what has changed my little girl into my little monster.

My stresses only start with her daily attitude. We are in the Army so we will be moving in July to North Carolina. Now we are having to find a good school for Sonora so that I know that she is well taken care of again and being pushed academically. If anyone is interested in the whole military move, keep reading, I plan on posting almost daily everything I do to move our family.

I hope that this blog shines light on life in the military and maybe helps others like me know that they are not alone.
Until tomorrow, good night.

One Vote

One Vote

I hate the question, "Are you a republican or a democrat?" I just never really understood why you had to chose a party. In fact, in my opinion it is even a little closed minded to belong to a specific political party. By choosing a political side it seems as if you are branding yourself as to having the absolute same beliefs of that party. I try to be as unpolitical as I can. I do not like to choose sides and up until a few years ago, I am almost embarrassed to say, I never voted. So why did it all change? Well, I became the wife of an Army soldier and a mother. Not just any mother, but the mother of a child with special needs. I started to then realize that my vote did matter because those elected officials would become important instruments in deciding my husband's and my daughter's future and thus my own. Unfortunately, I have also come to realize that these two aspects of my life that have compelled me to begin voting, have also pulled me in two different directions.
If you have not noticed, almost all the news programs and talk shows are now centered around the presidential elections. I am not saying that they should not be, I am just saying it is hard not to know at least some of the issues that are out there. These issues are what have me still deciding between the two candidates.
To figure out what is important to you as an individual it is best to first define one self. I am a wife, a proud Army wife. I am a mother of two young children, one which was born with spina bifida and who has and will need for the rest of her life, more medical treatment then most. I am a believer that everyone should get a chance. I believe it is possible for anyone to go through tough times and that those times alone should not define them or their futures. I also believe that there are issues that the president does not need to worry about such as if there should be gay marriage or not. I find it hard to believe that people are fighting over issues such as that when there are children homeless, not receiving medical care, or an education.

I Am A Wife
I am a military dependent, the wife of an Army officer. I am used to living by my husband's name, rank, and social security number. I often get lost in my my husband's identity. In fact, I have accidently put his social security number in place of mine on several documents. Military life is sometimes complicated and always changing. Being part of the Army has definitely had its ups and downs. Since 1999 when my husband and I married, we have moved four times. Moving itself is a hard task. Besides the actual packing and unpacking, moving also means leaving your friends behind. It also means uprooting your children, leaving behind their doctors that you have come to trust and having to help your children reconnect and feel safe in a new home.
Being in the Army as I said also has its up side. Two great things about the military is the health insurance and job security. We are especially thankful for health insurance. With the rise in health care costs it is very important for us to have our daughter's medical expenses taken care of. In addition, with every move comes a chance to meet new people and develop new friendships. We have also been blessed to be able to see much of the United States and many European countries while we were stationed in Germany. Living the military life can really be a love/hate relationship.
Another reality of being with the military is that the active duty member may at any time need to leave. Like civilian business people, soldiers also have several business trips each year and throughout their careers that takes them away from their home. Then there are the deployments. Soldiers are being deployed almost as often as allowed and in the Army that has meant for 12 to 15 months at a time. The rule is that you are allowed a year between deployments. Unfortunately, I have seen times when soldiers were sent back to Iraq after only being home for four months. When we married our spouses, I am sure that none of us were signing up to be single parents but in essence that is what we become. When joining the military the soldier takes an oath. The oath means that the service member's obligation to the military sometimes must take precedence over the immediate needs of his/her family. It is just a fact. Wouldn't it be nice if the service member could say, "no my spouse cannot spend a year with out me, so I think I am going to pass on this deployment." I think it is also worthy to note, since many civilians do not know this, there is no cap on the amount of times that a person can deploy. Many people I know, like my husband, have already been deployed more then three times, and plan on having to go again. Most of these deployments are Iraq and/or Afghanistan. It just always amazes me when people ask me if my husband has to go back. I even laugh at this question. I think it shows that the public has no idea how many troops make up the Armed Forces and how many are deployed at a time. I believe that somehow that message has been lost when talking about the war. I am pretty much resolved and plan that my husband will be deployed almost every other year. For me, its the one way I can continue on with this life, to never become complacent in thinking that he will not be deployed again. You can only imagine what this does to a family and how important it is to us that smart decisions are being made for military members.
When trying to decide which candidate will make a better choice military wise there are two issues that I have considered. First, I want my husband home. He is deployed now and I am tired of taking care of household and raising a family alone. Having to know that he is going to have to go one, three, even five more times in his career is depressing. The only option I see to keep my husband home for a longer length of time is the pulling out of troops from Iraq or extreme downsizing of the amount of troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. However, downsizing of the troops may also be a dangerous route for those who remain. Not enough forces in Iraq or Afghanistan means those that are still there may not be protected enough. I want my husband and all of the military members safe while deployed. There is also the probability that enemy insurgents, such as Al Qaeda may be able to increase in power if we do not have a presence in the Middle East.
The second issue that has me undecided on which candidate is best for the military is my husband. More specifically, my husband's beliefs. I take very seriously what my husband has to think on the issue of who should be President. Since he is the one that has been to Iraq three times, I assume he understands more than I do about what is going on there and the exact importance of us being there. My husband is one of the many that is risking his life to defend what all of us hold dear, freedom. In the end, the thought of voting against his beliefs would tear at me if he or any other soldier was hurt as the result of bad decisions made by a President I chose (even though I realize my vote is not the deciding factor).
I decided to do some research of my own to find out which candidate's plans for Iraq most meets want I believe is the right thing to do. According to www.johnmccain.com, John McCain believes that the United States should not pull out of Iraq until it is able to govern itself and keeps its citizens safe. He also believes that US troops cannot leave Iraq until Al Qaeda is defeated there; this is so Iraq will not become a safe harbor for terrorists. McCain also stated that the US would not be able to pull out of Iraq until it can prosper on its own as a democratic nation. In addition, McCain feels that if we pull out too early and our goals for Iraq are not met, then we will have to resend troops again and at a greater economical cost. McCain does not promise nor does he feel anyone should promise when the US will pull out of Iraq.
Senator Barack Obama has a different view on the war in Iraq. He feels that because the US is over there, Iraq itself has not taken responsibility for rebuilding its country economically or keeping the peace. Obama feels that continued presence in Iraq is unsafe for Americans. If voted president, Obama plans on creating a strategy along with Iraqi officials to withdraw American troops. Obama realizes that withdrawal of the troops may not be able to begin as soon as he takes office, that it may take time. However, once his plan is in effect, he wants to have most troops home within 16 months. It is important to note that his plan does include leaving some troops in Iraq to continue to target terrorist in the region and to continue to train Iraqi forces. Obama also notes that it is important to continue humanitarian aid to the people in Iraq who have been displaced. Overall, Obama's main response on Iraq according to his website www.barackobama.com, is that it is time for Iraq to become responsible so that they can become a stable, prosperous country.
From what I know about each candidate's plans, I would vote for Obama if I felt having my husband home is what was most important. However, I know that my feelings may be a bit biased. Therefore, I feel it also necessary to listen to whom my husband thinks has the best plan for Iraq. I guess I should say now that my husband is a republican. He LOVED Reagan. I mean LOVED Reagan. He told me Reagan should have been cloned. Obviously, since he is a devout republican, his choice for president is John McCain. Thus for this next section, I asked my husband to specifically write why he believes John McCain is the best candidate from a military standpoint. Please keep in mind that these are my husbands PERSONAL views. These views are not the same for all military members. This is what my husband had to say. "McCain's pros and some of Obama's cons as I see them.
1) There is no doubt McCain better understands the implications of sending troops to war.  He has put himself in harm's way for his country and he has children in harm's way.  Does this guarantee that he will be a good commander in chief?  No it does not.  However, I'm banking that it ensures he will do a better job of thinking through the entire strategy of the war, to include pre- and post- war planning, than someone who has not sacrificed and is not sacrificing anything.
2) McCain volunteered for a combat assignment in Vietnam. During Vietnam, McCain was taken prisoner and spent five years in a POW camp. McCain was offered early release due to the fact that his father was a senior Admiral in the Navy. However, he did not accept favors or special treatment. In my opinion, because of this act, McCain's character is virtually untouchable. 
3) John McCain is not afraid to go against the grain.  In 2007 he worked with Ted Kennedy on an immigration reform bill called the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act.  The bill was submitted to the Senate but was never voted on. The bill received bad criticism from both parties and as a result, McCain was a pariah for it. However, in my opinion, McCain at least took a risk and tried to do something while everyone else, both democrats and republicans did nothing.  I want a President who is not afraid to take action, even if it is an unpopular choice. 
4) John McCain believes in staying in Iraq until the goals are achieved, and as a result he voted for the surge. In my opinion the surge worked.  I've been here four months and have not heard a rocket or mortar impact the Victory Base Complex where I am stationed yet, as opposed to four years ago when we were dodging mortars and rockets more nights than not, and two years ago when, thankfully, they all flew overhead and landed across the canal well away from us.  Also, explosive ordnance disposal operators are bored (so to speak).  There used to be so many explosive incidents that four teams were having to do the same amount of work in one week that thirty-five or more teams are running now.  Obviously, there is a long way to go, but no matter what anyone wants to say, I feel we are winning and can finish this thing the right way if given the opportunity. 
5) John McCain is also a better choice for president because he has been to Iraq far more than Obama has. I feel that McCain would listen to his senior commanders ON THE GROUND as a result of his multiple visits throughout all stages of the war. In my professional opinion, you cannot get an accurate view of what is going on in Iraq sitting in a taxpayer funded office in DC. I also feel that McCain will not be swayed by what is politically expedient; nor will he use poll numbers to dictate when and where I am sent as a Soldier."
Obviously, there is quite a difference in what I would ultimately want compared to what my husband feels is the right decision regarding Iraq. I now have to decide if I personally feel that the good that we do in Iraq is worth my personal or others' sacrifices. However, it is hard to care whether or not Iraq is prospering when my husband has missed half of our children's lives. What kind of life does that leave for our military members when they have to be gone half of the time? Its also hard to side with keeping our troops over in Iraq when I do not feel we should have gone there in the first place. Yes, we captured Saddam but at what cost? I know that maybe I am being a tad selfish, however, what has the war actually done for the United States? Is there any tangible goodness that has come out of it for us? I know it is not better gas prices. Lastly, will there even ever be an end? I understand that several goals have been made in Iraq and it is getting "better" over there. However, when you look at how many years the fighting has gone on in the Middle East are we really being practical to think that Iraq will become a stable democratic country? This is a hard decision to make.

I am Mother
As a mother, we all want what is best for our children. I think the fundamentals are the same for most. We want health care for our children, a safe place where they can play, the opportunity for K-12 education and higher education. We want our children to be successful and most of all happy. When you have a child with special needs, such as my husband and I do, some of the dreams become a little simpler. Sonora was born with Spina Bifida. Spina Bifida is a neural tube defect where the spinal cord does not fully form and is left open. The area where the defect occurs is surgically repaired (usually after birth) however, nerve damage has already occurred which cannot be repaired. There are other symptoms that may accompany spina bifida, but that is not always the case. For our daughter, she has hydrocephalus, neurogenic bladder, seizure disorder, braces to help her walk, no bladder or bowel sensation, and some learning disabilities. The point is this, I want a happy future for Sonora. I obviously want health care and education, etc. For Sonora though, there needs to be more. I need to make sure that there is plenty of funding for the public schools where she receives physical and occupational therapy. I want schools to have enough funding so that a school nurse is always on staff. I would like to think that there will be plenty of programs as she gets older for those with disabilities so that most individuals with special needs can live independently. More importantly, I do not want science to be held back when there is so much that may be accomplished by the use of stem cells. Dr. Catherine Shaer, program director of the Management of Myelomeningocele Study (MOMS), which studies the effectiveness of surgery prior to birth compared to surgery after birth to repair the spinal cord in infants with spina bifida stated that, "Stem cell research and bioengineering offer even more hope for a better life. New research in the areas of nerve regeneration and the culturing of organs has the potential to dramatically improve the function of those with spina bifida.” (www.quinnipiac.edu/prebuilt/pdf/magazines/qu_spring2007/spring07_searching.pdf). Improved function such as a working bladder is an extreme gift that I can only wish for my daughter. Each candidate has his views on stem cell research. Both candidates agree that stem cell research is important and should be continued. The difference I could find between the two candidates was that McCain is against using stem cells from any human embryos, whereas Obama has voted for the use of human embryos that are discarded after already being created for fertilization. What is most important to me is that stem cell research is funded and not held back. Too many people now and in the future will have so much to gain if advances can be made.

Other Important Issues
Of course there are several other issues that I am interested in. For instance, I think there needs to be health care for at least all children. I think welfare and other programs such as food stamps are important to help people get back on their feet. However, I also think those people using such government aid should have to prove that they are working on bettering themselves with education or on the job training. I feel that if our government is willing to help people in need in other countries, then we should have no issues with first helping our own.
Most of my sentiments coincide with more of a democratic way of thinking. I acknowledge that fact. However, one of main issues, being a military spouse pulls me into the other direction. To help in my decision I will need to make a list.

The Vote
So what is going to be my choice many of you may be asking? Does it look like I am swaying one way or another? One thing I love about voting is that no one knows but you. There is no reason your vote needs to be swayed because of another person's personal beliefs. So why did I write all of this if not to sway you? I wrote this article for two reasons, first, to create awareness. The issues pertinent to our lives, to the United States, are constantly changing. I ask that everyone takes a step back from their chosen political parties and try looking at each of the men running for president. Make a list of what is important to you and to your family. Who will bring a better life to the citizens of the United States. Do not base your decisions on one personal belief such as pro life or pro choice. Please do not base your decision on the race of the candidate or the gender for that matter. Envision a world with each as president. I think people will find that there is something to like in each candidate. Second, I wrote this article for me. This is the beginning of my list; the list I will use to research what each candidate's plans are for the issues important to me. In the end, remember we are all different, we are individuals. The choice is yours McCain or Obama. Vote.

Politics of a military wife

Its October 6th and less then a month away from the elections.  As a military wife I feel very strongly about who is going to be president.  I even have an article that i am trying to get published, and if I have no luck, I will publish it here.  It really is a decision that can not be taken lightly.  For my family we are left with the realization that the next president will determine how often my husband will be deployed.  Currently, his deployment schedule is looking like almost every other year for one year at a time.  After watching the presidential debates I was hoping to hear something about how often our troops are being sent to Iraq and Afghanistan.  I even wonder if the presidential candidates know how often they have to go.  I am sure they do and that is why they do not mention it.  For all those out there who want to know the truth it is this.  I know people who have been to Iraq three times already, to include my husband.  Many of the those people have gone 12-15 months at a time.  You do the math.  What, its been not even 6 years since it all started.  That turns into one year gone, one year home.  Now each presidential candidate was talking about increasing troops in Afghanistan.  Where are these troops going to come from?  What if there is no draw down in Iraq first?  I can not even imagine what is going to happen to those in the Armed Forces.  When that many troops are needed they usually also have to apply Stop Loss where no one is able to get out of the military or retire.  I am lucky, I have a strong family and lots of support from friends.  What happens to those that don't?  I am not trying to sway you one way or the other on who to vote for.  However, I would like to ask this, if you know a military family the best thing you can do for them is support them.  Help the families while military member is deployed whether that is bringing them a meal, mowing their lawn, or just giving them some company so they do not feel so alone.  Our troops need your support and the best support sometimes is letting them know their family is taken care of at home.   

A super mom

I thought it would be a good idea to let you all know why I called my blog Super mom.  First, I want to say that there are many super moms out there.  In fact, I think most moms qualify in some way as a super mom.  I am a wife of an Army officer.  My husband is currently deployed for the third time and thus I have been left once again to take care of the children on my own.  I do not blame my husband for this, we have chosen to stay a part of the Army and thus this life.  I am also a mom of a child with Spina Bifida and thus increased medical needs.  We have been fortunate, our daughter as the doctors first said is, "the best case of the worse case scenario".  As a result of the increased doctors appointment and rehab appointments I have not been able to work.  I am hoping to start my writing on a small scale, here blogging.  So, to those of you who need advice, a laugh, or just some insight, please enjoy.