Discrimination and Heart Break

Dear Readers, We are writing to let everyone know about our frustration and disappointment with our recent experience in trying to adopt a dog from Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue Shelter (www.petrescuealliance.org (703) 338-3015) and how they discriminated against us. Shawn is in the Army and Elisabeth is a stay at home mom. We have three children. Sonora is turning 10, Carson is 7 and Evret is turning 4. Sonora was born with spina bifida and since then has been diagnosed with epilepsy and Asperger’s Syndrome, which, simply put, is a mild form of autism. All three of our children grew up with Leelee, our beagle, who passed away last spring from cancer, and Gus our Springer who passed soon after. For those of you who are not familiar with rescue organizations, in our recent experience, they all run basically the same. Find a dog you like, fill out the application, phone interview, home visit and if chosen, you get to adopt the dog. So, for weeks we searched the thousands of dogs available for adoption. I had chosen this approach (vs. going to a breeder or a pet store) to finding a companion for the family to teach my children that there are many unwanted dogs that need a good home. We were interested in a few dogs we were able to meet at Pet Valu, a local pet store that works in conjunction with Pet Rescue Alliance, located in the Springfield Plaza. We met Tex and fell in love with him. We filled out an application and had a home visit the next day. Uma, the representative for PRA, came to the house for about 10 minutes, asked some questions and said she would contact us that night. Nothing about the home visit made us feel that something was not acceptable. After not hearing anything for three days, I finally sent a message requesting information. Uma informed me she had been busy and that she had reservations about my children. I informed her they knew how to treat animals, i.e. do not pull tails or jump on dogs. Her next comment is where it started to go wrong. Uma was mainly concerned about my daughter. She felt Sonora was unhappy that she, Uma, came into our home. I explained to her that Sonora has several disabilities; one being Asperger’s. I explained that when she wants something, in this instance, her tablet, she continues to ask until she gets it. She was not aggressive, nor was she mean to Uma. All she did was continually ask me for her tablet and sound frustrated. Uma seemed to understand my explanation and said we could go ahead with the adoption. The children were so excited. Friday, adoption day, the kids went to school, and I shopped spending over $350 on dog supplies making sure we had all the necessary items to include the exact food Tex was already eating. When we picked up the kids they asked if we had Tex yet and told them we get to pick him up right now! On the way there Carson said, “This is the most exciting day of my life. I am just so excited!” I informed the kids they needed to be calm and so I hear from the back of the car after we parked from Carson, “be calm be calm”. We got to the store early so the kids started picking out toys and when Tex came in to the store they flocked to him and began to pet him. He was a very happy puppy who licked the kids and made them giggle. Sonora was actually the one who never left his side with me. She was in love. We were walking around the store and Sonora asked to hold his leash. I informed Uma, knowing she already had reservations about Sonora, that I would never let her hold the leash on her own; that she just wanted to help, and like children with Asperger’s do, Sonora continually asked to hold part of the leash. At no point were Sonora or the boys mean or inappropriate with Tex. Likewise, Tex was an angel with the kids. Uma then asked to talk to me down an aisle. I assumed we were going to go over the paper work. My husband, Sonora and Carson started to pick out a harness for Tex with assistance from the store clerks. Evret and I went with Uma who told me she was not feeling comfortable with us and that the adoption paper work stated “children could not hold the leash”. I informed her again that I would never let Sonora hold the leash on her own. Uma decided after 5 minutes in a cramped pet store that because my child with Asperger’s asked to hold the leash that we were not fit to adopt Tex. I told her that she just broke my children’s heart, started bawling, turned and then grabbed my family and walked out. I had to tell my three children who had been more excited then when Santa comes that Uma wouldn’t let us have Tex. We all cried to the car, Carson kept saying, “we were so close.” Sonora was so upset and kept saying, “we can’t leave Tex”. She didn’t understand why we were leaving Tex. Carson even offered to give up his gift from Santa saying he would ask for a puppy for the family instead. Sonora later told my friend, "Its wrong to leave a dog alone. We left him alone and he's lonely". There was no way to explain to my children with out causing more hurt feelings about what had just happened. We are sick to our stomachs over the discrimination against our child. Uma’s only concerns were about Sonora. She was uncomfortable with our special needs child. If Uma had reservations we could have had a play date at the park with Tex to see how they all interacted. You DO NOT tell three children they get to have a dog and then decide at the last minute that they cannot have him because Sonora asked to hold the leash! If she did not understand children with special needs, she should have asked. We would have let her spend time with her, our child with Asperger’s who hugs everyone and who slept on the floor in front of Lee Lee’s crate the first night after we adopted her. My children’s hearts were broken and a puppy didn’t get a loving home with a family who wanted him. We are sharing our family’s story with you in the hopes that volunteers and employees of other rescue shelters will take the time to educate themselves and their organizations about children with special needs. Additionally, we ask that donors to rescue shelters inquire about shelter policies and training regarding children and adults with special needs; and refrain from donating to organizations – like the Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue SheIter – that blatantly discriminate against families with special needs children. Finally, we would recommend that parents of special needs children inquire upfront about an organization’s understanding of special needs children prior to proceeding with the adoption process. In the end, maybe we weren’t the right family for Tex; but we do know for certain that Pet Rescue Alliance Rescue Shelter is not the pet adoption agency for families with special needs children. Sincerely, Elisabeth and Shawn Kadlec