One Vote

One Vote

I hate the question, "Are you a republican or a democrat?" I just never really understood why you had to chose a party. In fact, in my opinion it is even a little closed minded to belong to a specific political party. By choosing a political side it seems as if you are branding yourself as to having the absolute same beliefs of that party. I try to be as unpolitical as I can. I do not like to choose sides and up until a few years ago, I am almost embarrassed to say, I never voted. So why did it all change? Well, I became the wife of an Army soldier and a mother. Not just any mother, but the mother of a child with special needs. I started to then realize that my vote did matter because those elected officials would become important instruments in deciding my husband's and my daughter's future and thus my own. Unfortunately, I have also come to realize that these two aspects of my life that have compelled me to begin voting, have also pulled me in two different directions.
If you have not noticed, almost all the news programs and talk shows are now centered around the presidential elections. I am not saying that they should not be, I am just saying it is hard not to know at least some of the issues that are out there. These issues are what have me still deciding between the two candidates.
To figure out what is important to you as an individual it is best to first define one self. I am a wife, a proud Army wife. I am a mother of two young children, one which was born with spina bifida and who has and will need for the rest of her life, more medical treatment then most. I am a believer that everyone should get a chance. I believe it is possible for anyone to go through tough times and that those times alone should not define them or their futures. I also believe that there are issues that the president does not need to worry about such as if there should be gay marriage or not. I find it hard to believe that people are fighting over issues such as that when there are children homeless, not receiving medical care, or an education.

I Am A Wife
I am a military dependent, the wife of an Army officer. I am used to living by my husband's name, rank, and social security number. I often get lost in my my husband's identity. In fact, I have accidently put his social security number in place of mine on several documents. Military life is sometimes complicated and always changing. Being part of the Army has definitely had its ups and downs. Since 1999 when my husband and I married, we have moved four times. Moving itself is a hard task. Besides the actual packing and unpacking, moving also means leaving your friends behind. It also means uprooting your children, leaving behind their doctors that you have come to trust and having to help your children reconnect and feel safe in a new home.
Being in the Army as I said also has its up side. Two great things about the military is the health insurance and job security. We are especially thankful for health insurance. With the rise in health care costs it is very important for us to have our daughter's medical expenses taken care of. In addition, with every move comes a chance to meet new people and develop new friendships. We have also been blessed to be able to see much of the United States and many European countries while we were stationed in Germany. Living the military life can really be a love/hate relationship.
Another reality of being with the military is that the active duty member may at any time need to leave. Like civilian business people, soldiers also have several business trips each year and throughout their careers that takes them away from their home. Then there are the deployments. Soldiers are being deployed almost as often as allowed and in the Army that has meant for 12 to 15 months at a time. The rule is that you are allowed a year between deployments. Unfortunately, I have seen times when soldiers were sent back to Iraq after only being home for four months. When we married our spouses, I am sure that none of us were signing up to be single parents but in essence that is what we become. When joining the military the soldier takes an oath. The oath means that the service member's obligation to the military sometimes must take precedence over the immediate needs of his/her family. It is just a fact. Wouldn't it be nice if the service member could say, "no my spouse cannot spend a year with out me, so I think I am going to pass on this deployment." I think it is also worthy to note, since many civilians do not know this, there is no cap on the amount of times that a person can deploy. Many people I know, like my husband, have already been deployed more then three times, and plan on having to go again. Most of these deployments are Iraq and/or Afghanistan. It just always amazes me when people ask me if my husband has to go back. I even laugh at this question. I think it shows that the public has no idea how many troops make up the Armed Forces and how many are deployed at a time. I believe that somehow that message has been lost when talking about the war. I am pretty much resolved and plan that my husband will be deployed almost every other year. For me, its the one way I can continue on with this life, to never become complacent in thinking that he will not be deployed again. You can only imagine what this does to a family and how important it is to us that smart decisions are being made for military members.
When trying to decide which candidate will make a better choice military wise there are two issues that I have considered. First, I want my husband home. He is deployed now and I am tired of taking care of household and raising a family alone. Having to know that he is going to have to go one, three, even five more times in his career is depressing. The only option I see to keep my husband home for a longer length of time is the pulling out of troops from Iraq or extreme downsizing of the amount of troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. However, downsizing of the troops may also be a dangerous route for those who remain. Not enough forces in Iraq or Afghanistan means those that are still there may not be protected enough. I want my husband and all of the military members safe while deployed. There is also the probability that enemy insurgents, such as Al Qaeda may be able to increase in power if we do not have a presence in the Middle East.
The second issue that has me undecided on which candidate is best for the military is my husband. More specifically, my husband's beliefs. I take very seriously what my husband has to think on the issue of who should be President. Since he is the one that has been to Iraq three times, I assume he understands more than I do about what is going on there and the exact importance of us being there. My husband is one of the many that is risking his life to defend what all of us hold dear, freedom. In the end, the thought of voting against his beliefs would tear at me if he or any other soldier was hurt as the result of bad decisions made by a President I chose (even though I realize my vote is not the deciding factor).
I decided to do some research of my own to find out which candidate's plans for Iraq most meets want I believe is the right thing to do. According to www.johnmccain.com, John McCain believes that the United States should not pull out of Iraq until it is able to govern itself and keeps its citizens safe. He also believes that US troops cannot leave Iraq until Al Qaeda is defeated there; this is so Iraq will not become a safe harbor for terrorists. McCain also stated that the US would not be able to pull out of Iraq until it can prosper on its own as a democratic nation. In addition, McCain feels that if we pull out too early and our goals for Iraq are not met, then we will have to resend troops again and at a greater economical cost. McCain does not promise nor does he feel anyone should promise when the US will pull out of Iraq.
Senator Barack Obama has a different view on the war in Iraq. He feels that because the US is over there, Iraq itself has not taken responsibility for rebuilding its country economically or keeping the peace. Obama feels that continued presence in Iraq is unsafe for Americans. If voted president, Obama plans on creating a strategy along with Iraqi officials to withdraw American troops. Obama realizes that withdrawal of the troops may not be able to begin as soon as he takes office, that it may take time. However, once his plan is in effect, he wants to have most troops home within 16 months. It is important to note that his plan does include leaving some troops in Iraq to continue to target terrorist in the region and to continue to train Iraqi forces. Obama also notes that it is important to continue humanitarian aid to the people in Iraq who have been displaced. Overall, Obama's main response on Iraq according to his website www.barackobama.com, is that it is time for Iraq to become responsible so that they can become a stable, prosperous country.
From what I know about each candidate's plans, I would vote for Obama if I felt having my husband home is what was most important. However, I know that my feelings may be a bit biased. Therefore, I feel it also necessary to listen to whom my husband thinks has the best plan for Iraq. I guess I should say now that my husband is a republican. He LOVED Reagan. I mean LOVED Reagan. He told me Reagan should have been cloned. Obviously, since he is a devout republican, his choice for president is John McCain. Thus for this next section, I asked my husband to specifically write why he believes John McCain is the best candidate from a military standpoint. Please keep in mind that these are my husbands PERSONAL views. These views are not the same for all military members. This is what my husband had to say. "McCain's pros and some of Obama's cons as I see them.
1) There is no doubt McCain better understands the implications of sending troops to war.  He has put himself in harm's way for his country and he has children in harm's way.  Does this guarantee that he will be a good commander in chief?  No it does not.  However, I'm banking that it ensures he will do a better job of thinking through the entire strategy of the war, to include pre- and post- war planning, than someone who has not sacrificed and is not sacrificing anything.
2) McCain volunteered for a combat assignment in Vietnam. During Vietnam, McCain was taken prisoner and spent five years in a POW camp. McCain was offered early release due to the fact that his father was a senior Admiral in the Navy. However, he did not accept favors or special treatment. In my opinion, because of this act, McCain's character is virtually untouchable. 
3) John McCain is not afraid to go against the grain.  In 2007 he worked with Ted Kennedy on an immigration reform bill called the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act.  The bill was submitted to the Senate but was never voted on. The bill received bad criticism from both parties and as a result, McCain was a pariah for it. However, in my opinion, McCain at least took a risk and tried to do something while everyone else, both democrats and republicans did nothing.  I want a President who is not afraid to take action, even if it is an unpopular choice. 
4) John McCain believes in staying in Iraq until the goals are achieved, and as a result he voted for the surge. In my opinion the surge worked.  I've been here four months and have not heard a rocket or mortar impact the Victory Base Complex where I am stationed yet, as opposed to four years ago when we were dodging mortars and rockets more nights than not, and two years ago when, thankfully, they all flew overhead and landed across the canal well away from us.  Also, explosive ordnance disposal operators are bored (so to speak).  There used to be so many explosive incidents that four teams were having to do the same amount of work in one week that thirty-five or more teams are running now.  Obviously, there is a long way to go, but no matter what anyone wants to say, I feel we are winning and can finish this thing the right way if given the opportunity. 
5) John McCain is also a better choice for president because he has been to Iraq far more than Obama has. I feel that McCain would listen to his senior commanders ON THE GROUND as a result of his multiple visits throughout all stages of the war. In my professional opinion, you cannot get an accurate view of what is going on in Iraq sitting in a taxpayer funded office in DC. I also feel that McCain will not be swayed by what is politically expedient; nor will he use poll numbers to dictate when and where I am sent as a Soldier."
Obviously, there is quite a difference in what I would ultimately want compared to what my husband feels is the right decision regarding Iraq. I now have to decide if I personally feel that the good that we do in Iraq is worth my personal or others' sacrifices. However, it is hard to care whether or not Iraq is prospering when my husband has missed half of our children's lives. What kind of life does that leave for our military members when they have to be gone half of the time? Its also hard to side with keeping our troops over in Iraq when I do not feel we should have gone there in the first place. Yes, we captured Saddam but at what cost? I know that maybe I am being a tad selfish, however, what has the war actually done for the United States? Is there any tangible goodness that has come out of it for us? I know it is not better gas prices. Lastly, will there even ever be an end? I understand that several goals have been made in Iraq and it is getting "better" over there. However, when you look at how many years the fighting has gone on in the Middle East are we really being practical to think that Iraq will become a stable democratic country? This is a hard decision to make.

I am Mother
As a mother, we all want what is best for our children. I think the fundamentals are the same for most. We want health care for our children, a safe place where they can play, the opportunity for K-12 education and higher education. We want our children to be successful and most of all happy. When you have a child with special needs, such as my husband and I do, some of the dreams become a little simpler. Sonora was born with Spina Bifida. Spina Bifida is a neural tube defect where the spinal cord does not fully form and is left open. The area where the defect occurs is surgically repaired (usually after birth) however, nerve damage has already occurred which cannot be repaired. There are other symptoms that may accompany spina bifida, but that is not always the case. For our daughter, she has hydrocephalus, neurogenic bladder, seizure disorder, braces to help her walk, no bladder or bowel sensation, and some learning disabilities. The point is this, I want a happy future for Sonora. I obviously want health care and education, etc. For Sonora though, there needs to be more. I need to make sure that there is plenty of funding for the public schools where she receives physical and occupational therapy. I want schools to have enough funding so that a school nurse is always on staff. I would like to think that there will be plenty of programs as she gets older for those with disabilities so that most individuals with special needs can live independently. More importantly, I do not want science to be held back when there is so much that may be accomplished by the use of stem cells. Dr. Catherine Shaer, program director of the Management of Myelomeningocele Study (MOMS), which studies the effectiveness of surgery prior to birth compared to surgery after birth to repair the spinal cord in infants with spina bifida stated that, "Stem cell research and bioengineering offer even more hope for a better life. New research in the areas of nerve regeneration and the culturing of organs has the potential to dramatically improve the function of those with spina bifida.” (www.quinnipiac.edu/prebuilt/pdf/magazines/qu_spring2007/spring07_searching.pdf). Improved function such as a working bladder is an extreme gift that I can only wish for my daughter. Each candidate has his views on stem cell research. Both candidates agree that stem cell research is important and should be continued. The difference I could find between the two candidates was that McCain is against using stem cells from any human embryos, whereas Obama has voted for the use of human embryos that are discarded after already being created for fertilization. What is most important to me is that stem cell research is funded and not held back. Too many people now and in the future will have so much to gain if advances can be made.

Other Important Issues
Of course there are several other issues that I am interested in. For instance, I think there needs to be health care for at least all children. I think welfare and other programs such as food stamps are important to help people get back on their feet. However, I also think those people using such government aid should have to prove that they are working on bettering themselves with education or on the job training. I feel that if our government is willing to help people in need in other countries, then we should have no issues with first helping our own.
Most of my sentiments coincide with more of a democratic way of thinking. I acknowledge that fact. However, one of main issues, being a military spouse pulls me into the other direction. To help in my decision I will need to make a list.

The Vote
So what is going to be my choice many of you may be asking? Does it look like I am swaying one way or another? One thing I love about voting is that no one knows but you. There is no reason your vote needs to be swayed because of another person's personal beliefs. So why did I write all of this if not to sway you? I wrote this article for two reasons, first, to create awareness. The issues pertinent to our lives, to the United States, are constantly changing. I ask that everyone takes a step back from their chosen political parties and try looking at each of the men running for president. Make a list of what is important to you and to your family. Who will bring a better life to the citizens of the United States. Do not base your decisions on one personal belief such as pro life or pro choice. Please do not base your decision on the race of the candidate or the gender for that matter. Envision a world with each as president. I think people will find that there is something to like in each candidate. Second, I wrote this article for me. This is the beginning of my list; the list I will use to research what each candidate's plans are for the issues important to me. In the end, remember we are all different, we are individuals. The choice is yours McCain or Obama. Vote.

Children's bedtime

How many of you out there have problems with your children at bedtime?  My son who is 2 1/2 goes down great for nap.  Even though I lay with him, he is out in 5 minutes.  Bedtimes however is another story.  I have tried skipping nap and tat works until he falls asleep at 5 pm and wakes up at 7pm.  I lay down with him and 20-30 minutes later we are still there.  I put him in his bed repeatedly and still he fights it.  I know that it is my fault we are at this juncture, however, I just needed to vent my frustrations into the void.  So as Meg Ryan says on You've Got Mail, "Good night dear void".

Inspirational saying?

I always like reading little inspirational sayings that people have around their homes.  I don't have any myself, I am not even sure why.  I think I have just been on the look for the want that I really want, one that is my family.  Well I saw one the other day, that gave me a chuckles.  I was at a friend's house and after a couple glasses of wine and some soda, well nature called.  So into the bathroom I went.  Of course when you walk into a room and notice a saying, especially above the toilet, you are going to read it.  There was a popular inspirational saying that at that moment took a whole new meaning.  The beautifully painted board above the toilet read, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away".   At first I was thinking oh what a nice saying, then I thought oh, funny saying for the bathroom since there maybe several times in life that your breath could be taken away there.  I wanted to say something about how funny, but then I thought, what if it wasn't meant to be funny and I offended her.  So until now it's been my private chuckle.  Lesson learned always make sure you inspirational sayings do not take on a new meaning when placed in a particular room.    

Politics of a military wife

Its October 6th and less then a month away from the elections.  As a military wife I feel very strongly about who is going to be president.  I even have an article that i am trying to get published, and if I have no luck, I will publish it here.  It really is a decision that can not be taken lightly.  For my family we are left with the realization that the next president will determine how often my husband will be deployed.  Currently, his deployment schedule is looking like almost every other year for one year at a time.  After watching the presidential debates I was hoping to hear something about how often our troops are being sent to Iraq and Afghanistan.  I even wonder if the presidential candidates know how often they have to go.  I am sure they do and that is why they do not mention it.  For all those out there who want to know the truth it is this.  I know people who have been to Iraq three times already, to include my husband.  Many of the those people have gone 12-15 months at a time.  You do the math.  What, its been not even 6 years since it all started.  That turns into one year gone, one year home.  Now each presidential candidate was talking about increasing troops in Afghanistan.  Where are these troops going to come from?  What if there is no draw down in Iraq first?  I can not even imagine what is going to happen to those in the Armed Forces.  When that many troops are needed they usually also have to apply Stop Loss where no one is able to get out of the military or retire.  I am lucky, I have a strong family and lots of support from friends.  What happens to those that don't?  I am not trying to sway you one way or the other on who to vote for.  However, I would like to ask this, if you know a military family the best thing you can do for them is support them.  Help the families while military member is deployed whether that is bringing them a meal, mowing their lawn, or just giving them some company so they do not feel so alone.  Our troops need your support and the best support sometimes is letting them know their family is taken care of at home.   

Nap time

I can't wait for the day when my children no longer need to nap.  Although I greatly appreciate at times the extra two hours to get some work done, I would also enjoy not having to stop everything we are doing because it is time to take a nap.  My son who is two naps almost everyday and my daughter who is almost 5 rarely naps but when she needs one there is no doing anything else.  The thing is we plan on having at least one more baby so the nap cycle will not be broken for quite some time.  Ah, the dream continues :)  

Know-it-alls

Do any of you know someone that thinks they "know-it-all"?  I can not stand people like this.  I even often wonder what they think of themselves and if they realize they are like that.  I know a few of these people, they are actually friends.  Luckily though, I rarely talk to them which makes talking to them bearable.  So why am I bringing them up?  Well last night I had the joy as I do monthly to talk with my one "know-it-all" friend.  There are three of us that get together and she dominates most of the conversation.  Her famous line is, "Do you know what I am saying?"  I hate that no matter what you say, you are not right.  There is always something to add or something more that you just do not know.  Worse yet, she is a pessimist.  For example, I was telling them how happy I was that my daughter's orthopedist was impressed with how she walked without her braces.  Instead of being happy for us, she immediately says that my daughters feet are going to start turning with out her braces on and that her feet can change weekly.  Now I understand that my daughter is in a much better situation then her son spina bifida wise, but can she not just be happy for us?  Maybe that is why some people have to refute everything you say.  It must make them feel better.  Perhaps telling themselves that they know more makes them seem more important.  What do you all think?  Has anyone confronted their know-it-all friend?   I would love to know your stories.

A super mom

I thought it would be a good idea to let you all know why I called my blog Super mom.  First, I want to say that there are many super moms out there.  In fact, I think most moms qualify in some way as a super mom.  I am a wife of an Army officer.  My husband is currently deployed for the third time and thus I have been left once again to take care of the children on my own.  I do not blame my husband for this, we have chosen to stay a part of the Army and thus this life.  I am also a mom of a child with Spina Bifida and thus increased medical needs.  We have been fortunate, our daughter as the doctors first said is, "the best case of the worse case scenario".  As a result of the increased doctors appointment and rehab appointments I have not been able to work.  I am hoping to start my writing on a small scale, here blogging.  So, to those of you who need advice, a laugh, or just some insight, please enjoy.

I am a new blogger but ready to write.  I have lots of ideas and messages, but no time to write books.  So here I am ready to give it a go.  Can't wait to get started.